BEAUTY IS AS BEAUTY DOES

BEAUTY IS AS BEAUTY DOES (I)

As a fashion stylist, beauty is one of my favorite subjects. I love being beautiful and seeing women put together and being their best selves. Hair done, makeup and dressed to the nines. You know what I say? Get ‘em girl!

With a subject like beauty you get a mixed reaction. Some people (who pride themselves on being beautiful) would love to address it and tell you (or not) how to be so fab. Other’s (often the one’s of us who don’t live up to societies ideals) would be more reluctant. I’m kind of in between. I believe I am a beautiful girl and have been told so by other people but I by ANY means look like most models who have graced the cover’s of the magazine’s I read to keep up with my craft. This is partly why I wanted to do the page Beauty Is As Beauty Does. I’d like to talk about what I believe to be myths and truth about beauty.

THE LIES

1) Good Hair -As if! What planet do you live on? I really dislike hearing women (especially of ethnic decent) talk about this. Why? Because your hair is what it is. HAIR! I believe good hair has more to do with the condition YOU keep your hair in than what texture it is. Sure some people may naturally have more “manageable” hair or even hair that takes less to style or maintain. But that’s life right? Everybody can’t have everything. We may be surprised to find out the daily regimen of people who have um “good hair”. Whatever!

2) The Best Nose – And I’d have to ask according to whose standards? Not God! Have u ever noticed how many within the entertainment industry have gotten nose jobs? Not that you’re going to hell if u do it just that we get them to look like who? The last celebrity who got one, who got one to look like that other celebrity… who got it to look like the last movie star… who got it to look like the last porn star. U get it right? Why not just learn to love who you are and not be so plastic? Don’t get me wrong I’ve considered one myself but for what? So I’ma love the me God made.

3) Ideal Weight – Before ya’ll jump on me and send me a whole bunch of nasty letter’s I am not being an advocate for obesity or an unhealthy lifestyle. Recently I’ve gained weight and decided that this and my previous weight are a little more than I’d like to be. I’ve started exercising 3 days weekly and keeping a food log to track my progress.  U know what though? I just met a nutritionist and she told me that the ideal weight chart is ONLY based on weight, age and height. It doesn’t take into consideration body type, ethnicity, bone structure, muscle mass, fat index etc. What is ideal for an Asian woman is NOT the same for an African American woman, Caucasian or Indian. So what if according to the “chart” u r 145 and “overweight?

4) Upgrading – There is this nasty little rumor going on that u r upgrading when u date and or marry someone outside your race, buy them more expensive clothes or introduce them to something they are not accustomed to. Give me a break! Who do “folk” think they are? Being introduced to change or a different way of life definitely have their benefits. I am not against interracial marriage either. We r human beings not sports cars, for goodness sakes! And as human beings I think it is important to appreciate and understand differences.

*Note to Russell Simmons u didn’t “upgrade” by marrying Kimora because she was half Asian. (U got somebody really loud though!)

*Note to video hoochies u haven’t been upgraded because a hip-hop artist buy’s u Indian weave and fresh look color contacts. (Most time’s they’ve bought your self respect too!)

Appreciate who you are and LOVE who u r. If you want to change something (because of how you feel about yourself) go for it! Just remember it means you are becoming a better you. YourBest Self… Don’t allow sports celebrities, pop culture or Hollywood make u believe a plastic lie. We are all different and we all should strive to be better but if you are dark skinned you are NOT “less than” Beyonce. If you are bigger u are’nt  NOT upgrading by loosing weight (but you may be healthier).

THE TRUTHS

1) God Loves You- Yep I said it! I mean it and make no apologies for it. I know we live in a uh-hm “politically correct” society and the movement of “self” would tell us to x God out but He really does love us. During my twenty-something year’s on earth I have often wrestled with this truth. I’ve often felt entitled and disappointed when something didn’t go as I’d planned. I’ve said “God if you loved me than ______ would be different. ____ would be my husband. ____ would be my job” But u know what? A lot of times it is us who neglect to do certain things that insure the success God wants for us….

I know, I know, what does this have to do with beauty right? Well love always makes us more beautiful if we accept it. Ever notice the glow on a woman’s face when she is in love? How her walk, smile, spirit seem so different? Remember God’s standard of beauty and live by it. Start from the inside and work outward. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE and I reiterate be your best self.

2) You Are Beautiful… In Your Own Way – Okay let’s be honest. Physically some people are naturally more attractive than others. Of course beauty is really in the eye of the beholder because what I find utterly unattractive someone else could find gorgeous. Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Look at your features, your height, weight etc. Decide what you find beautiful and what you dislike. You could take it further by delving into why u like or dislike something about yourself. (Now the fun part.) Laugh! Laugh at yourself and loosen up. Play up the parts of you that you adore and you can downplay what you don’t like. I like my hair so I have a lot of fun with it. I have a little tummy so I wear belts a lot. Ya know? Love you! Again if you absolutely hate something check into doing something about it… Just make sure it’s not to fit in or be like someone else. This is never beautiful.

3) Self Love And Confidence Are Beautiful-By this point you all are probably like “what? who does she think she is?” Truth is I write about what is close to my heart. What I have been through or am going through in hopes it will help someone… And ’cause I love to talk! Ha!

Self confidence, I’m finding more and more, is very attractive. Again it’s the glow of love. You draw more people (who’d love you) when you feel better about yourself and choose to be confident. You are more likely to keep “bad apples” away because they aren’t willing to try to break through to tear you down. Ironic, but, when you feel bad about you people are more likely to treat you the way you feel. If you act like a queen people (most often) will treat you like one or leave you alone. Go figure!

If you need a confidence boost you can do the same type of exercise we did above except focus more internally. Look at skills, qualities and accomplishments. Decide what you like and change (within reason) what you don’t like. Celebrate yourself! Small successes as well as great. If you don’t celebrate you no one else will.

4) Beauty Is A Total Package-  Have you ever noticed how the packaging will draw you either to a product or away from it? (Take no frills for example). Beauty isn’t just composed of physical features, size or what is inside. It’s everything all together. It’s the spirit, soul and body. Seriously. I believe it starts from the inside and works outward but you neglect nothing. Every aspect of who you are is important. How you look, smell, act, deal with other people. Your attitude towards God and man. (Ouch! For a lot of us) You should play up your features, wear things that accentuate you and keep a good attitude. If you have emotional baggage don’t be afraid to deal with it. If you are stressed take time to DEstress and build the qualities that will help you be a more beautiful you. 

Remember Beauty Is As Beauty Does! Viva La Grande!